May: When and How a PK Mentorship Ends
You did it! You signed up. You got paired. You chatted, you texted, you messaged, you zoomed, you dialed and you “slacked”. You laughed and perhaps shed a tear. You committed and put the work in. Weeks and months have passed and now it is time to end the pairing. Maybe you were a mentee and now want to be a mentor. Maybe you are a mentor and now want to experience being a mentee or are ready to find another mentee. Whatever the case, the road has been successfully traveled and it’s time to end the trip. Let’s talk about best practices for ending the mentoring relationship. Here are some tips from current mentors. Hopefully, you’ll find this helpful!
Johanna Gottlieb:
Don't end it! There are no rules! Maybe you start to talk monthly or quarterly? Maybe you meet for coffee (if able to) every few months. Keep it open. Relationships can bloom in different ways at different times!
Encourage one another to stay in touch via email or however you see fit. Social media is great for this! Use social to STAY social!
Follow one another on social and continue to engage on each other's personal, business and professional posts. This can benefit both of you and trick up those algorithms!
Carson Roncketto:
One of the best ways to set your Mentorship Pairing up for success is to lay out the expectations at the very beginning. Make sure to clearly define how long and how frequent mentorship communication will be. One best practice is to let the mentee know that the formal mentorship pairing is coming to a close as that time nears. I like to schedule a final re-cap call so we can both go through what we learned during our time together. I also like to keep the door open so that the mentee knows they can reach out to me on an as-needed basis.
Last scheduled meeting sample agenda (30 Minutes total)
10 Minutes: Look back on the mentorship pairing—what have you learned?
10 Minutes: Look toward the future—what will your next steps be? Does the mentor have any parting advice for the mentee?
5 Minutes: Have an open conversation around informal mentoring. Is this something you both are interested in?
5 Minutes: Thank each other and acknowledge each other’s contributions.
When we get to a point that the mentee should be able to be on their own, I tell them that it looks like you are in good shape. I always tell them I am here for questions or if a new situation should arise. You can tell if there is a marked slowdown in questions or concerns.
I always start the engagement by letting them know that we will meet for 6 months at which point we both go back into the PK pool to be matched with others. I set the schedule (once a month for calls) and any time they want for random emails along the way.
I’ve found that this sets the stage at the outset so there is nothing awkward. Sometimes, I have extended a pairing just because we have a good relationship, and other times it may fade out before 6 months if the mentee has felt they’ve got the value (or they’re sick of me)!
Outside of that, another best practice that works for me is to ask the mentee for a written agenda a few days before our meeting.
Russell Bird:
In my experience the main reason I have ended a pairing is because they stopped calling me back or taking my calls, so it’s really easy, just stop following up.
That being said, setting boundaries up front I feel is the best way to limit any conflicts. Things like planning when your calls will happen: ie. Once a month and you plan your next call during the current call. If you miss a call, it’s up to the mentee to reschedule. Your preferred method of contact is: Facebook, text, call, video etc. If you have all of that information up front then ending the pairing should be easy because “the timing is not working for me”, or “this method of communication is not working for me” or “we have outgrown each other”. Best not to just let a relationship die though, ie. Stop calling someone back or ignoring them.
I have kept in touch with 4 out of 5 mentees. We planned 6 months originally, but 2 went close to a year of monthly meetings or contact. When I jump back into mentoring, I want to have monthly (or bi-weekly) topics agreed upon with the mentee, so during each meeting, we will be moving through a curriculum with an end date. It doesn’t have to be formal, but will keep us on track to move through topics during the agreed upon timetable.
Whether you are a mentor or mentee, it’s important to keep in mind that mentorships end for many reasons. Sometimes unexpected time constraints get in the way or someone’s needs may change. There are a variety of other circumstances that may prevent the mentorship relationship from working out---and that’s okay! Either party can always politely end the mentorship relationship at any time.
We hope you find this helpful! Can’t wait to see how it works for you.